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7

An extremely convincing argument for not living in Florida

15

effy stonem swimming away from alligators during a hurricane did more for me than midsommar... life is full of surprises, truly

9

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

4

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

18

Great effects and cinematography. Had issues with story logic and character choices. Cute dog.

Watched at Cineplex Odeon Park & Tilford Cinema, Vancouver

2

87 minutes of blissfully unreconstructed exactly-what-it-says-on-the-box killer animal transmission. Every time someone makes a tourniquet for a fresh chomp, take a drink.

8

*people being mauled by alligators*

Me: is the dog ok tho

24

Things I learned while watching Crawl:

- Florida state police officers do not bother pursuing people who directly and brazenly ignore their explicit orders.
- Basements below ground level do not flood until it is narratively necessary for them to do so.
- Alligators are all at least 9 feet long.
- If any alligators smaller than 9 feet long do exist, they most certainly do not venture into basements where their smaller size would enable them to crawl under some pipes and eat the humans sheltering behind them.
- Open tibia fractures can be walked on within hours of said injury with the handy aid of a tightly wound belt.
- Alligators do not possess the bite pressure to…

6

73

Not as wacky as the bright-red gore-fest of Piranha 3D or as torturous as his remake of The Hills Have Eyes, but sheesh, this is pretty ruthless. The gators give no fucks. Crawl offers around ten minutes of typical set-up and then it's off to the races. While Aja isn't as spatially capable as Collet-Serra or as subversive as Eli Roth, he's still a modern horror craftsman hellbent on making nasty surface-thrill experiences, and I appreciate his dedication to gleeful violence. Crawl doesn't even bother with traditional build-up, instead constructing a evolving space in which to fill with a seamless escalation of creature feature fun. At a brisk 87 minutes, this ends right when it needs to and keeps the audience satisfied and shocked throughout.

38

Crawl is a terrible movie like really bad. It is bad on every level other than its basic concept which is like all of Florida represents a consistent and prolonged home invasion for alligators who after all were there first for millions of years. I am writing this on my phone in a public library where some dude is giving a supplemental medicare pitch to an audience of one. I left my coffee in the car. This is going to be a terrible review.

Crawl is not only terrible it doesn't care that it is terrible. Enthusiastically apathetic, utterly beholden to the laziest perverse incentives of snooze button capitalism it digitally recreates Gulf Coast Florida in Serbia using green screens…

5

being overly dramatic about normal life problems while the world melts around you and nature tries to eat you alive is the 2019 aesthetic

5

An entertaining nail biter! Directed by Alexandre Aja who also directed the famed French extreme movie High Tension. If I knew he was the director I would have seen this sooner. The effects were good and nice gore. With plenty of jump scares you won’t be bored! The story is sort of one dimensional but it’s fun! If you haven’t seen it check it out on Hulu.